Money absolutely makes the world a happier place.

So Jessi linked up an article about how money doesn’t necessarily make you a happier person. Of course they polled people and got some numbers but the way I see it is that 45% of polls are right.

My opinion? I won’t be happy until I’m so stinkin’ rich that I can play all day, whither it be video games, music or with myself. Here is what I think of these so called “numbers”. First lets start with the way the data was collected:

The five professors analyzed data for 374 workers who were asked every 25 minutes during the workday about the intensity of various feelings. Those with higher incomes didn’t report being any happier, but they were more likely to say they were anxious or angry.

Why were they more anxious or angry? Probably because these professors were butting in with their stupid questions while the high incomers were trying to make that high income. I know I would be.

The five professors also studied government data detailing how folks divvy up their waking hours. They found that people with higher incomes tend to spend more time working, commuting and engaging in obligatory non-work activities, such as maintaining their homes.

Okay, I kind of think the so called “government data” is a little messed up. I mean, if they were such high earners wtf are they doing having a long commute (like Ashburn) when they are rich enough to afford a closer home (like Reston)? And of course the high earners are engaged in non-work activities, they aren’t bumming on the couch with a ton of free time like the minimum wagers they are getting compared too.

Men making more than $100,000 per year spend 19.9% of their time on passive leisure, compared to 34.7% for men making less than $20,000. Women making more than $100,000 spend 19.6% of their time on passive leisure, compared with 33.5% of those making less than $20,000.

Again, because the people making less then $20k have more free time. If they actually worked instead of hanging out filling out surveys then maybe they’d have more money in the bank.

• Keep your commute short.

Yeah, why the hell are these high earners commuting any way? Shouldn’t they be taking the Helicopter into work most days? And for the ones that don’t? What’s it matter if your stuck in traffic when Jarvis is the one driving anyway?

• Choose time over money.

PLEASE?! How do you think they got rich in the first place? Sitting on the couch like a hippie?

• Think carefully about how you spend your dollars.

Like they couldn’t just do both? I don’t agree with this analogy at all. A trip to Europe would be great but it only happens once. Going 100 MPH down the toll road in your new Aston Marting DB9 5 days a week? No contest. I’d do both.

• Use your leisure time wisely.

I totally agree. Don’t just get one Thai hooker at a time, get multiple ones. You’ll probably get a bulk discount and watching is just as much fun as being involved.

So back to the question at hand. Does more money make you happier? 

Hell yeah money makes you happier! Sure as hell beats the alternative.