Rant. Birthday cards for co-workers.
*No Header Image for this one. I know, I’m upset about it too.*
Stop with the birthday card passing around in the manilla folder crap. Please. I’m so fucking tired of getting these things that I could scream. And actually almost did. The third one today was just dropped on my desk (quite forcefully in fact) and I almost let the lady that dropped it off have it.
Why? It’s disrupting and annoying. First, you interrupt me by slamming this envelope on my desk. Usually when manilla envelopes are slapped on my desk it either means that I’ve gotten fired or there is some incrementating evidence on me and my goings on at night. So right then and there I get a little panicked or excited. Then I open it to some fucking fluffy bear or a bad joke on a greeting card.
Do you know what a let down that is? You don’t? Well let me break it down for you. Remember the first time you found out that Santa wasn’t real or That your parents really love each other or that pulling out early really isn’t a form of birth control? That kind of let down.
Then there is that awkward moment (especially when you are towards the end of the card list) when you have to drop this hot potato off on someone else. It’s like trying to find a non AIDS infected person in the Kenya. Practically impossible. You have to go around asking people if they have signed it and hope that you catch someone that is either away from the desk or on the phone so they can’t answer back.
I’m not saying “don’t celebrate a co-worker’s birthday”. Just don’t involve the whole company. If that co-worker is a friend, lover, boss or whatever I will know about that person’s birthday. Chances are that if I don’t know when your birthday is, I probably dislike you like I dislike lima beans. I REALLY hate lima beans. Catch my drift?
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